Feel it in your bones.

We often intellectualize the truth—but how do we feel it?

In many conversations with clients, I hear a gap: the knowing which seems far from the feeling. For example:

“I know I’ve accomplished a lot.” “I have great experience.” “I’m connected and a good networker.” “I’m strategic.”

And then, there’s the “BUT,” usually followed by:

“…this market.” “…this political climate.” “…I’m a woman / man.” “…I’m too old / too young.” “…I took a break.”

When we think about how we experience truth, there are:

1. The stories we tell others
2. The stories we tell ourselves
3. The stories we actually believe about ourselves

Sometimes it’s a combination of all three. But what’s most important to tune into are the subtle stories we don’t think we believe but subconsciously do.

I call them sleeper beliefs. They’re sneaky, quiet, and seep into our psyche in the dark.

These sleeper beliefs are subtle and often unspoken yet they create waves of doubt and insecurity—and can impede our ability to take action. They’re the thoughts quietly running the show. Even if we don’t realize it, they shape how we show up: in interviews,  negotiations, the very energy we bring into a room.

So how do we take notice of these subconscious beliefs?

They can show up as a nervous glance towards the ground. Reflexively tucking a strand of hair behind the ear. Having your voice catch in your throat instead of resonating from the deep confidence in your gut.

We might know our worth on paper, but if we don’t feel it—in our body, our voice, our presence—it won’t land the same way.

This disconnect is what often holds people back—not a lack of credentials, but a lack of alignment between what we know and what we believe to be true about ourselves.

So the work becomes:

How do we bridge the gap between knowing and feeling?

How do we shift from reciting our value to embodying it?

It begs an even bigger question: How do you really believe in yourself?

How much time do you have? 😉

Here are some ways I’ve witnessed real transformation:

1. Get clear on your sleeper thoughts. Write them down. Call them out whenever you notice them creeping up.
2. Debunk them. I always reference Byron Katie’s “thought turnaround” work.
3. I guarantee you have proof to counter the limiting thought. Find it. Hold it like a gem you just harvested from the mines and cherish your accomplishment.
4. Take action. What if you just did the thing? Or something—anything—that stretches your comfort zone and surprises you. Break out of the “I’m just this way” mold. That’s just an identity you constructed.

1. Celebrate your action and use it for fuel.

We don’t need to ignore or “push past” sleeper thoughts. We need to shed light on them and in doing so, shrink them down until they no longer stop us. Until action becomes the more inviting choice.

Here’s to feeling it in your bones.