I’ve been rethinking my approach to goal setting.
Here’s the thing—I am a goal-setter. But I’m also a goal-breaker: not record-shattering but forgetting, slipping, quitting, and sometimes falling-flat-on-my-face. I tend to jump into action and bite off more than I can chew. Yes, I’m a coach, but I’m still human.
Through visioning work with my own coach, Sharon Lipovsky of Point Road Co. , I’ve explored a gentler, more intentional approach. Her coaching helped me realize that I was spending more time living in the future than in the present—always wanting, reaching, striving, trying, yearning, climbing.
The problem? I’d created such a gap between my future self and my current self that they almost felt like two different people with no bridge connecting them.
When I got clear on how I wanted to feel in the future, I realized that feeling isn’t something I have to wait for—I can experience it now.
Instead of asking “What’s my next goal?” I’m now asking “How do I want to feel today?” using that feeling to guide my daily decisions.
Ask yourself how you want to feel today. Then follow up with:
- What space do I need to create in my calendar to focus on feeling grounded in my body?
- What choices can I make to set my mind and body up for success? (Less coffee? More structured meals? Taking a walk outside?)
- Does my environment help or hinder my quest towards that feeling? Do I need to declutter?
I’m still experimenting with this approach, but I have a feeling it might open up new “how to’s” of achieving my goals. Rather than starting with “I should do yoga 3x a week,” I start with a desire to feel grounded. That feeling then becomes a filter for activities that support it. Yoga might be one option, but so could journaling or a barefoot walk in my yard.
Channeling my desired feeling state now is giving me a new perspective on life. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. In our next session, we’ll get more concrete on the tactics and goals, but my north star will be my higher feeling state.
NOTE: How you feel on your way to your goal will be very similar to how you feel upon reaching your goal, says Sharon. So, I’m done feeling the lack or disappointment of not being there yet—I’m choosing to feel good today.
Reflection:
How do you want to feel on a future special date? (It might be a milestone like your child’s graduation, a work review, or a wedding anniversary.)
What could help you lean into that feeling now?
What would it look like to use that feeling as your filter for decisions?
Reply with your desired feeling state and how you can feel it today!
Surprise Yourself,
Cassidy
