Yesterday, I explored with my coach (yes, I’m a coach who has a coach) what it is about this September that feels especially challenging. I had a wonderful summer—June and July were filled with meaningful client work and August slowed down into quality time with family and friends surrounded. I have no regrets about how I spent my summer. I did tons of gardening and reading, felt more present than ever with my family, and made sure to be available for the clients who weren’t on vacation.
So I was surprised when returning to traditional office hours, coaching travel soccer, and managing back to school schedules felt so exhausting.
In my self-reflection, I realized I was experiencing resistance, anxiety, and—if I’m honest—a touch of denial in what my coach called a liminal space. Liminal spaces are those thresholds where you’re no longer in one phase but not quite in the next either—an “in-between” that can feel unsettling, ambiguous, even disorienting. They can also be rich with possibility… if we’re ready to acknowledge them.
I had a fantasy that I’d simply jump back in: that planning and mental/physical prep was overrated and unnecessary! While listening to my parent-friends talk about back-to-school shopping and after-school activities, I just wanted to stay rooted in my holiday mindset.
This begs the question: how do you stay present without letting the shift into a new chapter feel like being hit by a Mack truck?
I don’t want to lose the end of summer to being inside- thinking, organizing, and planning for the Tuesday after Labor Day. At the same time, I don’t want to struggle with “ramping up” (how I hate that phrase) after every vacation. Where’s the happy compromise?
Sports often give me the best analogies. As a player, you’re either in the game or on the bench. But how you are on the bench matters. You might be watching casually, strategizing for when you get put in, or completely checked out. You can always tell the difference between the player ready to jump in and the one thinking about his PS5 gaming session after the match.
So what would it mean for me to be (restfully) engaged on the bench of my own life?
Here’s what I’ve come up with to stay in tune with the different categories of my life in small, manageable doses:
Micro-Working
30 minutes a day for scheduling, creating “parking lot” lists for my thoughts, and planning in a way that my future self will thank me for. Micro-working, as I call it, keeps the system humming without overloading. My coach suggested I go for low-hanging fruit: easy tasks that make me feel more accomplished and ready to take on something more challenging. I may not be making the necessary trip to the DMV just yet, but I’m scheduling the trip to the DMV for when I’m back in the game.
When it comes to vacation, a full shutdown doesn’t serve me. Some people swear it’s critical to completely unplug, but I’ve realized that’s not true for me. Maybe just “sleep mode,” with the occasional tap on the trackpad to stay ready for what’s to come.
Liminal spaces will always show up—between seasons, jobs, roles, between you and your desired goal. The choice is whether we numb out, rush through, or pause long enough to notice the discomfort and the invitation therein. Oh yeah, and to practice some patience and self-compassion throughout the process. (I’m working on this one!)
I’m curious:
- What’s worked for you in the liminal space between summer and fall?
- Do you completely check out on vacation?
- Do you prefer to keep checking in, even as you relax?
Need some extra support exploring your own liminal spaces? Coaching can be a powerful way to navigate these in-between moments with clarity and intention. Book your free consultation today so we can dive in and explore!
