Step Back and Reassess

After a busy 6 months of travel, two key lessons have emerged:

1. What you water grows.
2. Adopt a victim mindset or an owner mindset.

Let me break down these lessons a bit more—perhaps they’ll prompt some useful shifts for you, too.

We can all agree that in-person interactions add multiple dimensions that virtual environments can’t replicate. There are the immeasurably valuable sidebar chats that motivate or offer timely feedback, the comfort that comes from simply being around others, and the focused attention that happens when you’re not secretly scrolling  another tab while nodding at your webcam.

As a coach, the more I get to see you, read your body language, feel your energy, the stronger our work becomes.

That said, virtual meetings still offer tremendous value. Most teams still work this way the majority of the time, so improving virtual dynamics makes just as much sense.

Both in-person and virtual settings are valuable—with the right structure. I’ll be investing in both, to support my clients and to give myself more breathing space between trips. My kids—and especially my partner—will be glad to have more of me at home, too.

If you feel like you have too much of one thing and not enough of another, ask yourself which choices within your power are contributing to that imbalance:

• Too many small clients and not enough big accounts? Maybe you need to invest more in building long-term relationships with larger ones.
• Too many social acquaintances but not enough deep relationships? Who do you want to know more intimately? Maybe skip the group drinks and make more one-on-one time.
• Too much time buried in emails and not enough on business strategy? Step into your leadership role—time block and focus on the impactful work you were hired to do.
• Too much waiting to be told what to do? What’s your best thinking? What’s one step you can take?

My second lesson is about taking ownership instead of slipping into a victim mindset. (Shoutout to Steve Chandler for his brilliance in simplifying concepts that wake us up!)

Here are a few of my own victim thoughts around travel:

• I hate packing and outfit planning.
• It’s hard to eat well and resist novelty foods (looking at you, Cadbury chocolate).
• My workout routine will be thrown off.
• My sleep will be a mess.
• My kids will miss me, and I’ll feel guilty about what I’m missing.
• My other business will suffer because travel makes it hard to keep up with clients.
• Travel is draining, and I’m in a fog when I get home.

A victim mindset means believing that things are happening to me, that I’m not in control. Some red-flag words for this mindset include: try, should, and they (instead of we or I). Other hallmark beliefs include: time is scarce, people don’t change, and “I am the way I am.” Victims wait for things to happen. They don’t see themselves as creators.

Now, are there times we are genuinely victims? Sure—car accidents, delayed flights, toxic bosses. But even in difficult situations, owners ask: “What can I get from this?” With time, compassion, and healing, even the hardest experiences can offer gifts to those with an ownership mindset.

So, how did I shift my victim thinking around travel?

• I created a few foolproof “uniforms” I can wear on repeat.
• I reminded myself I can get Cadbury chocolate at my local CVS—so it’s not that special.
• I research gyms in advance and rely on my Peloton app for workouts.
• I avoid alcohol (it messes with my sleep) and try to stay on EST when possible.
• My kids see a working mom who loves her job and loves them deeply. I also bring back witty British books, western trinkets, and other travel novelties for them.
• I use plane time to organize my business, and I take advantage of time zone differences to work earlier or later when it helps.
• I try to leave space the day after I return, so I can reset and regain clarity.

So think about it: When do you feel stuck, limited, under-resourced, or like you’re just waiting for something to happen to you? What are three things you could do to turn it around?

We are all incredibly creative human beings. Allow yourself to step into your confidence and take control.

Ready to take control? Book your free coaching consultation today and let’s get started.