Is Your Calendar a Tetris Nightmare?
A client once showed me his calendar and called it a “good week.” To me, it looked like a chaotic game of Tetris gone wrong: overlapping meetings, a tangled mess of high and low-level priorities, social “obligations,” and zero time blocked off for thinking. Blank space was scarce and I could only imagine his mind felt just as cluttered as his calendar looked.
When a client says, “My wife/husband/partner always says I need to…”, that’s usually a clear sign the business calendar has seeped too much into personal life and is taking a toll.
Where to Begin?
With clients like this, I could jump straight into color coding, time-chunking, and priority-qualifying, but none of that matters if this one question stumps them:
How are you at saying ‘no’?
When I asked this particular client about this, he launched into a run-on list of justifications—why he attends every meeting, every social event, and makes himself available for anyone who wants a one-on-one. It wasn’t his fault. He’d been promoted and was still attending old meetings (to show support) while also sitting in on new initiative discussions. So I asked him: How’s that working out for you?
The Fear Behind ‘No’
When beginning to unpack the challenge of saying no and the fears that come with it, some common concerns I hear from clients include:
- Will they think I’m above them if I cancel?
- Will I jeopardize the client relationship?
- I want to be accessible to everyone.
- It could be good networking if I go out for client drinks (again).
- What if I miss an opportunity to add value?
Sure, the answer could be “yes” to all of the above. But is that reason enough to go? Mel Robbins, author of Let Them, would argue that people in this trap are too involved in other people’s business and not enough in their own.
The Cost of Overcommitment
If a client has a strong “Pleaser Saboteur” (see Positive Intelligence for more on this), they often don’t realize they are robbing those who work for them of the discomfort in growth that ultimately leads to empowerment. By attending every meeting, they are acting as a crutch, preventing others from stepping up. Over-involvement has a cost—for them and for their team.
So, I had my client imagine he’d just been named CEO with a blank calendar and asked: How would you structure your time to maximize impact?
Immediately, he identified three major points he would prioritize. How much time was actually dedicated to those priorities? Not much.
Reclaiming the Calendar
We spent the rest of the hour identifying meetings he could cancel, rehearsing those conversations, and blocking time for his big priorities—including thinking time. It’s a work in progress. Will meetings creep back in? Likely. But the goal is for him to pause before saying yes and put on his CEO hat first. That pause before yes is as crucial as looking both ways before crossing the street.
Practical Questions to Protect Your Calendar
Want to take control of your schedule? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Who is this meeting truly serving? (My ego, the business, the other party?)
- If I say “no” to this meeting, what am I afraid will happen?
- What good could come from my absence?
- If I say “no” to this, what can I say “yes” to instead?
- Does my calendar reflect my actual priorities?
- How much work am I pushing into my personal time?
- If I don’t hit my main objectives in three months, how will I feel about how I’m spending my time now?
- If I were CEO with a blank calendar, how would I fill it?
Own your calendar—don’t let it own you. Your energy and productivity will thank you.
